Karaoke Night: Twilight Version
by Jaspers lil pixie77
Summary: When Alice has a vision, she goes over the top with preparing. But for what? Karaoke! But what happens when the students of Forks Highschool and some unexpected guests get involved? Your going to have to read and find out!
1. Vision

A/N: This is my first fanfic, and Lilbellacullen88 is co-writing this with me! I know this is a cliché, but it was a great way to start writing. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: We don't own anything Twilight!! (

**Vision**

BPOV

Just another rainy day in Forks. I told Charlie I would be at the Cullens' all day, but I was hoping to hang out with Edward, not Alice! She's torturing me with another one of her makeovers and Edward didn't even mind! I don't even know what half the things she's using are!

"Just hold still Bella! It would be much easier if you weren't…."Alice trailed off.

Her face froze with a steady glance into the mirror, but I knew she wasn't looking at it. Probably just another vision… but of what? It better not be another masochistic stalking vampire. Or worse another trip to Victoria's Secret with Alice…

"Woot woot, I know what were going to do today! Come on Bella we have to get ready!" Alice chirped

She yanked me out of the chair and ran downstairs to meet the rest of the Cullens. I tried to keep up but I tripped on the way down. A cold pair of arms caught me before another salutation with the floor. I looked up to see my angel chuckling.

"What's so funny," I asked

" Love, half your face is drenched in Alice makeup! I think she forgot the other side…" Edward replied.

I blushed and looked down thinking of how stupid I must look right now. As I ran to the bathroom to wash my face, I heard the door bell ring. I wonder who it could be. As the cold water trickled down my face, someone came up behind me.

" Don't worry you always look beautiful to me." Edward's voice crooned.

His arms wrapped around me, as he planted a kiss in my hair. We walked out of the bathroom together when I saw it.

" What did Alice do!?" I whispered

A/N: We'll update as fast as we can! If you can click on the button to go to the next chapter, I'm sure you can do the same with the review button!! Ciao!


	2. Surprise!

A/N: What is Alice up to? Well we know and you don't!! Mwahaha! The crazy things she does. But we all know and love her like the devious little pixie she is! I'd like to give a shout out to lilbellacullen88 for writing this with me! So read on. And please review!

Disclaimer: 

Us: Yes! We own Twilight!

A voice from above: Are your names Stephenie Meyer?

Us: Uhhh….God? We swear it was a joke!!

A voice from above: I'll sue you!!

Us: NOOOOOOO!! FINE WE DO **NOT** OWN TWILIGHT!!

-runs to corner and breaks into tears-

**Surprise!!**

_We walked out of the bathroom together when I saw it._

" _What did Alice do!?" I whispered_

BPOV

I looked around the room to see a stage, a huge flat screen TV, and a karaoke machine. But what surprised me the most was all the people in what used to be an open living room. Most of Forks High school was there. I saw Jessica, Angela, Mike, Eric, Tyler, and even Lauren! Tiny Alice was trying to make her way to the stage with a triumphant smile on her face.

"What's that little vampire trying to do? Turn me into an outraged clumsy mess?!" I half screamed.

At least Edward was there to shut me up before I ranted on about the Cullens' darkest secret. Then I heard the screech of a microphone as I snapped my head towards the stage.

Alice was standing there in a crazy eye catching outfit. She had on tight lime green jeans with a sassy sequined silver top (**A/N: Try saying that five times!**). To top that she had silver diamond Steve Madden high heels and her hair was more spiky then ever!! But with her supermodel looks, she managed to pull it off.

" Who does she think she is?" I whispered to Edward

"Alice Cullen, quirkier than you since 1901." He stated simply, his eyes not leaving the stage.

I heard Alice's smooth velvet voice through the speakers as everyone turned to listen. I turned to look at Edward's expression, but his face made my breath catch in my throat. He looked pained.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked worried.

"Nothing, don't be worried about me." Edward replied.

"You're my fiancé and when I'm worried about you I deserve a right to know what's wrong." I insisted as I stomped my foot. "Now tell me."

He took a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear.

" It's hard to listen to all the boys' sexual thoughts about how hot my sister is!" He managed to say. "I'm sure Jasper isn't taking it too well."

As he said that he turned around. I followed his gaze to a corner where I saw Jasper curled up in the fetal position.

"Edward, are you sure you don't want to leave?" I wanted to make sure he wasn't suffering to bad. "Because it's fine with me."

I heard the smooth voice come from the speakers.

"Don't you dare move an inch Edward Anthony Cullen. Don't you think you should man up a bit? Suck it up!" Alice's voice said.

Everyone turned to stare at us. As if I weren't already embarrassed, Edward ripped his shirt off and shouted "I am a real man!! Why don't you tell that to Jasper over there! He's acting as if he was in a mental hospital!"

"You don't have to cover up your insecurities Edward! It's okay you can admit your gay!" Alice said, defending Jasper.

Then at that moment I felt the cool hands slip from my waist, and saw Edward run up to the stage and put in a random cd. Then the voice of my angel started singing…

_Now that were men, we can do anything!now that were men we are invincible!now that were men were going to change the sea,Mr. krabs and save the land and mr. krabs!Now that were men we have __facial hair__,now that were men "i changed my underwear!"now that were men we have a manly flair were done in the south, were tough to save the…_

He was cut of by another song as Alice took the mic. Her musical voice sounded like wind chimes as it came through the speakers.

_If you were gay_

_That'd be okay_

_I mean cause hey,_

_I'd like you anyway!_

Edward stormed off of the stage as Alice continued singing.

_If it were me,_

_I would feel free_

_To say that I was Gay_

_(But I'm not gay)_

_If you were queer_

_I'd still be here_

_Year after year_

_Cause you are dear to me_

_And I know that you_

_Would accept me too_

_If I told you today_

_That I were gay_

_(But I'm not gay)_

The song was cut off there as a roaring applause filled the room. Alice took a bow as the cheering continued. It was soon cut off by an angry Eddie.

"I swear people I'm not gay!" He shouted.

As he said that he swept me up in his arms and kissed me passionately. I pulled away to gasp for air before his lips crushed mine again.

Then a familiar voice shouted "So now your bi?"

It couldn't be………..

A/N: I hope you liked it! We're so evil with our cliffhangers! The song Edward sings is called _Now that were men_ from Spongebob! And the song Alice sang was _If you were gay_ from Avenue Q! I hope you laughed cause I know we did! We'll post Alice's outfit on my page soon. Please review!


	3. Mammals

1A/N: Only 8 more days until breaking dawn (but it might be less when you read this...or out.)! We're so excited. We're going to the release party at Barnes and Noble! It's gonna be awesomelicous. Oh and if you guessed who the person was you get 100 cookies! Well I hope you like this next chapter!

Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight (

_Then a familiar voice shouted "So now your bi?"_

_It couldn't be………_..

**Mammals**

**BPOV**

Idiotic werewolf. Why would he come here?!

All of the Cullens turned there head to gaze at Jacob. Edward glared, Emmett growled, Alice gasped, Jasper cringed in his corner, and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Hey Bells!" Jacob ran up to me and gave me a hug.

Edward growled but reluctantly pulled away.

"Hey Jake!" I said surprised

You could hear Alice clear her throat through the speakers.

"Let's move on. Who's gonna sing next?" She asked

Jacob stepped up to the stage and grabbed the mic.

"This one's for you Bella," he said in a husky voice. "It reminds me of us."

He winked and softly chuckled to himself making me feel like I missed an inside joke. The song started and Edward tensed up next to me.

"What are his thoughts, Edward?" I asked preparing for his answer.

"Just listen to the song... I don't know what you guys have been doing when I go hunting..." He trailed off only to be interrupted by Jacobs voice.

_Ha-ha, well now, we call this the act of mating  
But there are several other  
Very important differences  
Between human beings and animals  
That you should know about  
I'd appreciate your input_

__

Sweat baby, sweat baby  
Sex is a Texas drought  
Me and you do the kind of stuff  
That only Prince would sing about  
So put your hands down my pants  
And I bet you'll feel nuts  
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert  
And you're getting two thumbs up  
You've had enough of two-hand touch  
You want it rough, you're out of bounds  
I want you smothered, want you covered  
Like my Waffle House hashbrownsComin' quicker than Fed Ex  
Never reach an apex  
Just like coca-cola stock  
You are inclined to make me rise an hour early  
Just like daylight savings time  


_  
Do it now  
_

_  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Gettin' horny now  
Love, the kind you clean up  
With a mop and bucketLike the lost catacombs of Egypt  
Only God knows where we stuck it  
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific  
I wanna be down in your South Seas  
But I got this notion  
That the motion of your ocean means  
"Small Craft Advisory"  
So if I capsize on your thighs  
High tide B-5 you sunk my battleship  
Please turn me on  
I'm Mr. Coffee  
With an automatic drip  
So show me yours, I'll show you mine  
"Tool Time"  
You'll Love it just like Lyle  
And then we'll do it doggy style  
So we can both watch "X-Files"_

__

Do it now  


_  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Gettin' horny now_

__

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Gettin' horny now  


My mouth hung open in disbelief. At the end he put on a cocky smile and stepped off the stage. The applause wasn't as big as Alice and Edward's but there were some perverts who clapped for him.

Edward stormed off in rage. It looked like he was headed for his bedroom, so I went up the stairs to find him.

There he was, sitting on his black leather couch. His eyes were dark and murderous. I quickly ran over to him.

"Edward." I said calmly. "I had no idea what that was about."

He didn't answer me, so I continued.

"You know I love you more than anything." I tried to tell him.

He looked into my eyes and I kissed him.

But like always, he was the first to pull away.

"I love you Bella." He said, but a little pain seeped into his voice.

"I love you too!" I replied. "But what exactly was Jacob thinking?"

"Oh well during the song he kept thinking about how you gave him that kiss, and how mad he thought I would be after this song." Edward answered. "He really thought you would come running to him." His voice cracked at the end.

I'd never heard Edward's voice crack before. He was always so articulate and perfect, I didn't even think it was possible. It must have meant he was in a lot of pain.

"Edward you know I wound never even think about going to him." Bella whispered.

"Yes well, I only hope not." He said, his voice strained.

"Well we better hurry downstairs before Alice tells the whole crowd Jacob's song got us in the mood!" I joked trying to lighten the mood. I gave him a quick peck on the lips and dragged him down the stairs.

A/N: The next person will be Angela, but I don't have any good ideas for her. So if you have one please tell me! I hope you don't think I'm some big pervert though. After all that song was pretty gross. It's just when we heard it, it reminded us of Jacob. Well actually, it was Lilbellacullen88's idea! Well, review!

Chip chip cherio!


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